“The universe operates through dynamic exchange… giving and receiving are different aspects of the flow of energy in the universe. and in our willingness to give that which we seek, we keep the abundance of the universe circulating in our lives.”
Deepak Chopra
The universe has bestowed upon me one of the most important gifts I’ve ever received, the gift of abundance.
For a very long time I had associated abundance with having or receiving money. This was a big issue for much of my life. I grew up in a household where having money was not an issue, but there were huge consequences in spending it.
My father came from poverty and even though he was a money earner, in the depression he lost everything and had to fight his way back. So his mindset was connected with never being poor again. He was philanthropic and generous. He was also cautious how his family spent money.
One of my earliest memories was my mother using the orange and grapefruit wrappers for toilet paper and my clothing were hand me downs, made over from my older cousin’s discards. Her fear of lack was so great that there was a room in our basement with wall to wall and floor to ceiling shelves stocked with every kind of canned goods imaginable. I was often confused with the conflict between generosity and stinginess.
I personally loved to be generous. When I gave, I felt a sense of well being that opened my heart. When I held back, I felt constricted in my thinking, my emotions and the uncomfortable sensations I felt in my body. Even though I used generosity as a way of saying “love me, love me”, my personal preference was always to be generous.
Though my father was my hero, there was a defining experience in our relationship that placed him for the first time on shaky ground in my perception of him.
It had to do with generosity and giving. When I was six years old, I received six silver dollars from my relatives for the holidays. At the time, this was an enormous sum of money especially for a six year old.
My father told me I could spend it any way I wanted, in hopes that his values and teachings had somehow penetrated my six year old brain. I decided to buy holiday presents for some of my neighbors who had been kind to me.
Being an independent child, I went to the corner candy store and the owner, who I knew, assisted me in choosing what I thought were wonderful gifts.
I went home and excitedly wrapped and delivered them. When my father inquired how I spent my six dollars, he became angry. He believed the proprietor of the corner store ripped off his vulnerable six year old and was bent on retaliation. He took me to each recipient, took back the gifts and returned them to the store with great recrimination to the store owner.
Of course, at six, all I could see was my humiliation and embarrassment. Years later, when I confronted him about how it affected me and what decisions I made as a result of my humiliation, he was dumbfounded at my reaction. For years he believed I had understood why he chose to handle the situation the way he did. To him, his precious six year old had been taken advantage of and he was the white knight who came to my rescue.
I, on the other hand, was left with a gaping wound consumed with confusion around money, the act of giving and taking away, how to deal with the pain of humiliation, how heroes can have feet of clay, and my own issues of Self worth and what I was deserving of. From this experience, I decided money had to do with worthiness.
I found it easier to give than receive. Even in business I sold myself short, unconsciously holding myself back, undercharging my services because subconsciously I felt unworthy and didn’t deserve more. It had been an issue for much of my life.
When I discovered abundance has little to do with money or receiving or having I was able to transform my thinking.
Since there’s energy in all matter, when we open our hearts to the experience of love with no conditions or reasons, we experience the vibrations of this energy and our worth is not in question, what we experience is the energy of abundance. When I ‘m giving of my Self and serving others, I’m so grateful and so filled with the abundance of pure authentic love. The more I serve others, the more grateful I am for this gift.
Money also has a vibrational energy and even though it may not have shown up yet, when we come from abundance, it’s already manifested in our creative consciousness. And when we take the appropriate action it appears at the appropriate time.
My life changed when I realized how worthy I am. My reality shifted to my natural state of love and joy. No longer am I confused about my deserving. Now I trust the universal energy to be aligned with my experience of worthiness, abundance and money.
I have too much respect for my Self to use money frivolously. The more I have, the more I want to share it and make a difference with it.
My heroes are Mahatma Ghandi and Mother Theresa. Until their transitions they never allowed themselves to be defined by the physical universe, living life to the fullest out of choosing love for the greater good.
Though I choose not to live a life of poverty, my mission is to make a difference with whatever money I do have to support others to make a difference in their lives and beyond.
In order to transform my programmed thought patterns I had to ask myself some very helpful questions.
Can I take problems and create opportunities for solutions?
Am I a communicator?
Do I share and get along well with others?
Am I affected by what other people think about me?
How is my attitude?
Do I appreciate who I am from the inside out?
Am I grateful and do I generate generosity with my time, energy and my support of others?
Do I take care of myself by keeping hydrated and putting food and products in and on my body that will support my health and well being?
Being present in the moment starts with how we think about ourselves. We create our own reality!
The choices we made as we were growing up based on the conditions surrounding us determined one reality. The strength of our own personal identity and Self Worth, and the value we place on who we authentically are, is another reality. They are both valid and exist at the same time. It’s the lack of balance that creates our unhealthy environment.
Because the mind believes life’s conditions are to be right or wrong, good or bad, and the subtlety of positive or negative, it lies to protect itself . This is why we make excuses or have reasons for everything we say or do.
When we decide to make changes within ourselves, it’s not the circumstances of the realities that we change, but the part of us that identifies with these realities. It is ultimately our perception that changes equalizing our conscious and subconscious minds.
When we believe we are amazingly magnificent just because we choose it , then no matter what happens, our value is never threatened and we’ll always end up being whole and in tact.
As human Beings, each of us has a value that’s so amazing and so intrinsic to our birthright that we need no reason to explain why we know and understand our own Self Worth. It’s so because it’s so, and we have the right to say it’s so. It’s from this knowledge of our own Self Worth that all our knowledge occurs.
All our desires, intentions and gratitude emanates from loving and trusting the value of who we are. When we acknowledge our true worth, we acknowledge our authentic Selves and from this place, we acknowledge the worthiness of our fellow human Beings. What a wondrous way to see the reflection of our own love in the mirror of life.
This is a quick process I use to practice staying in the moment:
I take several deep breaths in through my nose and out through my mouth.
I visualize my Self in a setting that is most pleasing to me. It could be on the shores of a familiar lake in the country or walking at the water’s edge on a beautiful beach. Then I experience how joyful I feel just being there as I focus inward. This always centers me as my true Self emerges and I remember how much I love Me and how magnificent and valuable and how worthy and deserving I am.
I surrender to whatever is going on in and around me.
I forgive and let go.
I stay in touch with my experience of love and forgiveness and I allow everything to be just the way it is.
I remind myself how grateful I am for choosing my life as it is. I remember it’s my birth right to know my own Self Worth and love my Self with no conditions attached and no reason or excuse not to.
This is just another process in how I live a magical life.
