I was brought up to believe that imagination had nothing to do with reality and what I imagined, I made up in my head. At that time, the reality of the physical universe and the human condition was the only reality we knew. Imagination was entertaining and a fun thing to have, but it wasn’t real.
One of my mother’s operating principles was “having to look good at all cost. She felt humiliated by the reality of her abusive behavior and rather than tell the truth about it, she pretended it didn’t exist. Often I felt crazy just being around her. Later when I confronted her, she accused me of having a vivid imagination and that the abuse never happened.
My brother believed my father was an atheist. He decided to become an atheist because in his reality God is a concept one imagines, and imagination isn’t real. I believed my father was an agnostic. With me, he often questioned the conceptual reality of God until his death. I never was able to figure out what my mother truly believed.
Confused, I faltered all over the place, searching for a different reality. The reality of MY physical universe and MY human condition was so overwhelming to MY well being, I really didn‘t want to accept it as MY reality.
Mostly, as an artist, my imagination dictated how I wanted to live my life. Actually, in many ways, having this right brain point of view, saved my emotional and psychological life.
Growing up, I personally found the physical universe and the circumstances of my day to day situations to be horrifying. The only happiness I experienced was when I turned my attention inward to my fantasies and my imagination.
From my earliest recollection, because I was so miserable at home, as a child I created an inner world of tiny people that lived in my imagination. I’d make houses for them to live in, out of shoe boxes with cardboard furniture and I was the mayor of our small town and had control of their world, manipulating them into the kind of life I wished I was living. It was more tolerable, more nurturing and even more loving to counterbalance the misery I experienced every day. It went on for years and it kept me sane within my crazy environment.
Little did I know at the time, in my imagination, I was creating another reality.
My father taught me to question and search for all possibilities. His agnostic approach of not knowing had him questioning the existence of God. He had a difficult time reconciling a God that sanctioned the horror of violence and war. Until the moment of his death he was still questioning.
I, more or less, followed his path of query, and now of course, I‘m so glad I did as I might have decided not to believe in anything.
It wasn’t until much later, after traveling to different parts of the world seeking different ways to find enlightenment, that I did find the peace and joy I was searching for. But it didn’t come from the world outside. It came from the reality of my imagination.
All the work I’ve done to transform my unconscious thinking into conscious creative thought, has led me to the realization that my imagination IS my reality and it IS important. All those years I spent searching outside of myself for the answers to my happiness and well being, were always within my grasp, had I trusted myself to look inward and remember my own magnificence.
In the beginning, for a long time I believed I could fly. In my dreams each night I’d soar through the skies above the trees looking down at life on earth. The idea was so strong in my mind I fearlessly climbed and leaped out of trees or other high places without getting hurt. I experimented by jumping off tall staircases with an open umbrella. It’s a miracle I didn’t break my neck.
At some point the reality of the physical universe took over my imagination and I began to forget that I knew how to fly until the memory faded completely. Many years later I remembered when I began to once again honor my imagination.
“I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”
Albert Einstein
My daughter Gerri and I were deep in conversation one day in my kitchen in Hurleyville, N.Y.. She was sixteen. In the middle of a sentence I stopped speaking and got lost in what appeared to be a memory of another life experience. I saw myself in an unfamiliar period in time, dressed in clothes I’d never wear now and in completely foreign surroundings. I saw myself from the rear as I was watching what appeared to be my plantation home burning and no one was helping put out the fire. Then in a flash I returned to the conversation.
Gerri was in tune enough with me not to say anything while I was in what appeared to be a trance. I shared the experience with her and though it was weird we just accepted it as part of life itself.
Years later a Medium told me about who I was at that time and how I was connected to Danny during the Civil War. Apparently I owned a plantation in the South and Danny was a slave. I helped him escape to the North along with many others. When my neighbors discovered my secret they burned down my plantation. It felt very real as I remembered that vision.
I’m thrilled I allowed myself to use my imagination’s experience in that way because when I moved to Nashville and visited the town of Franklin, I had goose bumps for deep inside was the feeling I had lived there before. I even knew where the livery had been and that word has never been part of my vocabulary.
I’ve always had the feeling Gerri was a special gift to me when she was born. We were extremely close, especially her first three years. I was a new mother and very conscious of her psyche and I recognized a spark of magic about her. I didn’t want a lot of outside influence to corrupt her well being so I was very protective of other’s input. I believe her wisdom brought me up rather than the reverse. She was taught to allow her imagination to soar.
So it didn’t surprise me when we shared another amazing experience later on when she was grown. We were driving on a country road on a beautiful summer day when suddenly the car leaped into a vortex and we found ourselves in a vacuum of time. It was as if we were sucked into another time and place, another reality, yet it was the same. At first I thought it was just me but when I looked at her unbelieving face I knew she had experienced it too. It was remarkable and the memory has remained in my consciousness and probably will forever.
I believe there’s a “Be Magnificent” light that shines in each of us, and that light is the reality of our Soul. All we have to do is choose to switch it on. When I do that, I know I have value and am worthy and deserving to Be in the presence of God. For me, this is unconditional love.
I know, early on my family thought I was crazy but I believe that even they would think I’m in good company because I’m pretty certain if I read them Albert Einstein’s quote, ”Imagination is more important than knowledge”, they’d think Einstein was crazy too.
I imagine a world void of violence, fear and war. I imagine a world where things are not more important than people, where one thing is not better than another, where judgements are not coloring our thoughts, where being substantial is way more important than being superficial.
I Imagine an environment where our children and grandchildren can grow and be nurtured without fear and danger around every corner. I Imagine a world where love, peace and joy prevail. I Imagine this to be our reality. If everyone in the world would imagine this, I imagine it would come to pass.
